Parenting style is the way parents educate
their children in order to acquire values and norms from their surrounding.
There are two major types of parenting style in our society. They are
Authoritarian Parents Style which is typically practiced in China and the East;
and Permissive Parents style that is typically practiced in the west (the
Saturday Essay by Amy Chua). Eastern people tend to be stricter in educating
their children. They expect their children to act according to the prevail
manner. On the other hand, western people are giving more liberation in
educating their children. They also have their own opinion about the
peculiarity of being permissive parents. People are still arguing whether the
Authoritarian or Permissive Parents is the best. From the issue above, I would
like to explain about the positive and minor sides of being permissive parents
in terms of children mentality development and relationship among children and
their parents.
The first positive sides of being
permissive parents in terms of children mentality development is that children
who are raised by permissive parents enjoy their freedom and feel more
responsible than those who do not. Children are group of under aged person
which are basically feel like to be uncontrolled. Permissive parents let their
children choose their own decision; as the result they become to take more
responsibility than the others. By giving liberation to them, they will feel
that they have to choose their own way and because of that they also realize
that they are the one who can bring the happiness and sadness for their own
life. It makes them trying so hard to be the best in achieving their life’s goal.
The second positive sides of being permissive parents in terms of children
mentality development is that children who are grown up in permissive parenting
culture have the ability of creative and innovative thinking says Amy Chua, the
author of book about parenting style, in Saturday Essay. Permissive parents never
forced their idea about something to their children. They only say that
something is bad and later on they allow their children to draw the conclusion
about something told to them. For example the stereotype opinion of my society
is that a girl should not be outside home at very late night but my parents
have never told me that I have to be at home at no more than 10 pm. However I
think that it must be a reason why I should act like what people in my society
say. In order to be good, I have to be tough in acquiring values and norms from
my society. The third positive sides of being children who are raised by
permissive parents is that children and parents relationship in permissive
parenting style is more like a friend than parents. Permissive parents are
communicative because they often share their opinion with their children says
Kendra Cherry, a psychology expert. Communicating is essential in the
relationship, thus parents and children communication in the permissive
parenting types is the cause why they have such a good-close relationship. In
permissive parenting, parents do not keep the problem or issue by themselves
yet they communicate and let their children to decide.
Asides from the positive sides,
permissive parenting also has minor sides. There are three minor sides of
permissive parenting style in terms of children mentality development and
relationship among children and their parents. The first minor side is that
children who are raised by permissive parents tend to be an unruly person.
According to Diana Baumrind, the psychologist of pre-school children, the
parents in permissive parenting have inconsistent rules in educating their
children. Very often do they have very few rules or standard behavior that
obtained in the society she continues. This phenomena also happens in my
family, as a child who is raised in permissive parenting culture, my parents
only give the vivid boundary to be submissive. Some times I acknowledge that I
feel perplexed to make a forward step in order to fulfill society’s indictment.
I also have to think by myself whether to follow this or that rule. It makes me
choose whatever which I wanted to that is how my habit effects my personality
which is dislike to be under controlled. Baumrind also continues to say that
the second minor side of permissive parenting style is that children who are
raised in permissive parenting have poor social skill. Children who are raised
in permissive parenting are never worried too much about how people think about
them. That is why they prefer to demand on themselves rather than to depend on
the others. They have a good ability to think, as the result they think that it
is better to them to exploit their own skill. They also feel that they do not
need someone aids to lead their own life. That is the reason why children in
permissive parenting culture choose to be more involved in their own opinion
rather than to communicate it with others. The last minor sides of permissive
parenting is that children raised in that styles feel that they lack of
affection rather than those in another style. As the parents give a total
authority to them they forget to take an attention to their children. They feel
like they have done anything to their children’s benevolence but in fact they
do not “Many children feel ignored by their parents because they seem to do not
want to know anything that their children do” said Emmy Daniels the author of
the Pros and Cons of Permissive Parenting. As I have grown up in permissive
parenting, I do feel this kind of thing. Some times when I am feeling down I
think that my parents do not love me and they also do not want to know what
happens to me; yet as I grow older I began to realize that it is the way they
educate me, so I must accept it as my fate.
There are three positive sides of
permissive parenting style. The first children have their own liberation, they
have ability to think creatively, and more importantly they have a close
relationship with their parents. Besides there are also the disadvantages of
growing in permissive parenting cultures. The first is that they tend to be an
unruly person then they also lack of affection. From the explanation above it
is clear enough that permissive parenting style has its own advantages and
disadvantages. Everything is based on our sight whether to judge that
permissive parenting style is good or bad. Nevertheless the explanation above
gives a distinct portrayal about the positive and major sides of being
permissive parents.
References
LAILY
ISNA NUR CAHYANI/ 130222614321
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